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Drift Net > digital culture Misconnected
Exploring the tragedy behind the "missed connections" section on Craig's List.On Craigslist, city-specific online communities are rapidly growing as classified ads are posted under general categories such as "community," "personals," "discussion forums," "housing," "for sale," "services/jobs," and "resumes." (which are then divided into subsections, both by neighborhood and content). But one of these subsections,missed connections, part of the personals' hierarchy, may seem romantic, but at its heart it is really breaking. In this wired age, where so many of our interactions are anonymous, have we forgotten how to connect with one another? Posters write a descriptive subject line, whether they're a woman or a man, and whether the connection they've missed is a woman or a man. If, on the off chance one should ever be perusing the list and realize he or she's being sought after, he'd simply e-mail the anonymous e-mail address and hope that the formerly missed connection may now transpire. What's scary, though, is that posting a missed connection has begun to qualify as "making a move," being the most active role played in uniting the two. Among the hundreds of attempts posted daily, the majority seems to be kicking themselves for not saying "hello" after some suggestive subway eye-contact. But some just ramble, some post to love ones from the days of yore, some post vague descriptions of the missed-connection-scenarios (leading to numerous replies, along the lines of "Can you be more specific?"). In other words, people are browsing these posts looking for a shout-out from a stranger. In some cases, someone will post an "MC with an MC," in other words a missed connection with a missed connection. These posts simply lament the fact that this person has never scrolled by any homage to him or herself in the boards. How passive can we be? Here in New York, where ego is king and death is a close second-worst to real rejection, there are a lot of regulars on these boards. I was once referred to a series of postings, which, of course, no longer exist (the ads only last ten days) about a "New Deal" for the F subway train. Many craigslisters agreed that the first car on the train headed towards Brooklyn would be for straight people and the last for gay people, in an attempt to facilitate connecting (or missing), since, apparently, so many connections were being missed on this train that a Net-tervention a la craig's list was necessary (though I don't think a revival of segregation is the answer). On the train, there was a code word to be used when standing near a potential connection to suggest that the code-bearer had hailed from craigslist. But the code word wasn't so encoded; it was "hello," but it was to be a general one, aimed in no particular direction. They could've picked a better word, or, better yet, stuck with the same word and picked better logic behind it. Do these people insist that even their real-life connections be "missed" in nature? Have we been interacting virtually with people so long that not only pick-up lines are taboo, but even a genuine hello? How can there ever be another real connection for these thousands of craigslisters, when their life is a quest for a real missed connection? What's a life being avoidant all day long just to head home, sign on, and see an accurate description of onesself posted by godknowswho? I'd say it's an MC with one. |
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| Recent comments by Bill Gates have stirred up a small backlash among copyright reformists |
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 08.21.2004 - 4:06 pm EDT"Roshan shares a personal anecdote about P2P software"
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